What happens when you finally fall in love again?

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!  I say that with a touch of sincerity right now.  The idea of being in love and I have been at odds for over a decade now. It's not that I don't like love, it's that love holds an addictive power over me, and like any good addiction when it gets out of hand you're moments away from losing everything.

In the ten years since my love addiction caused me to hit rock bottom I've been probably overprotective while trying to avoid a relapse.  Like an alcoholic who refuses to even enjoy a soda with friends during happy hour so they don't need to put their willpower in a head to head battle with nearly insurmountable temptation, I've tried to avoid places where I might accidentally fall in love.  I haven't even had a girlfriend in the last decade.  I've dated girls, and have been quite fond of a few, but have never allowed any full access to my fortress of solitude. (By the way, Fortress of Solitude to me is slang for my home, where I can quite comfortably lock the world on the other side of my door, and metaphorically it is also the ongoing condition of my heart...)

But sometimes the temptation becomes to strong to fight, and we hope that this time around we'll have a healthier relationship with our vices.  I hope I have a healthier relationship with love after a decade of reflection, but I fear it may be impossible.  I'm falling for a lady that I may be unable to resist no matter how poisonous we are for each other.  Let me tell you a bit about her...

You'd think (or I'd hope) that my next love would would be some young fireball, thin and sexy, but maybe not one to call attention to herself.  Well, not really.  First of all she's older than me, and kind of a big girl.  Inevitably with age comes some wrinkles and a bit of her younger beautiful shine has worn down, but she possesses a beauty and grace at 45 that ladies born in the 80's and 90's can only aspire to possess.     Yeah, she's a big girl, but she's not some fat lump, she has the right curves in the right places.  And in spite of her size (which isn't really her fault... she was born that way), she's a stunner!  Men and women combined notice her when she goes by.  She doesn't scream for your attention, but you just can't help but notice her, and when you do you see an incredible beauty beneath the wrinkles and her size, and you can't help but to want to know her better.

I met her through my friend Jason.  She was living across the street from him when he bought his house maybe a dozen years ago.  "You need to meet my neighbor, she drives a muscle car!" Jason told me.  His neighbor really was something else.  His neighbor, Alvah, was in her 80's and drove a 1971 Chrysler 300.  My new love, by the way, is a 1971 Chrysler 300.

In August, Jason's neighbor Alvah decided that at the tender age of 98 it might be time to stop driving.  I didn't think that I had a shot at her (I figured a gal like that would only be interested in being with a guy that had lots of money and was willing to spend it on her!), but somehow I was able to make it happen.  How lucky was I, I named her Alvah after her original owner, and she was perfect... for 4 days.

Day 4, the headlights quit working.  Then the turn signals, then the carburetor, then the ignition, and now a phantom oil leak.  Everytime something goes wrong, I question why I even considered loving again, but then I'll buy her something nice like a new headlight switch or ignition or whatever it'll take to make that drip go away and we'll fall deeper in love than ever before.

Anyway, that's what I've been up to lately.  I've wanted to blog about my car for a bit, but then I'd say to myself "when I get some better pictures" or some other excuse about how I wasn't ready to write yet.  There's always an excuse if you look hard enough.  In the end I never will be ready to write this or any other blog post, just like I may never be ready to fall in love.  But the key is if you really want to do something you just go for it in spite of your readiness, and you figure it out as you go.  This is true for writing this blog post, for owning an old muscle car, and for falling in love (with a person, not a car...).

Alright, this blog post is now written, and my car is in reasonable working order.  Now to fall in love.

Happy Valentine's Day!